Otter Tean Twelve
by Madhatter1957
Summary: Members of the Animal Coalition of Secret Special Forces are tasked to to take out a stupid ruler.


It was a dark and stormy night when Otter Team 12 slid onto the beach of an undisclosed French Polynesian Island to receive their new orders. The leader of the team, Captain Squeak, received the message to come through the usual channels, meaning that the Head of Intel, Master Chief Francis the Falcon, told the Head of the Prairie Dog Defense League, Admiral Twitchy, who notified the Chief Warrant Officer of the Aquatic Demolition Crew, Snappy the Alligator, who then relayed the message to the Semi Aquatic Ninja Assassins, Otter Team 12. It took six months for our illustrious Captain to receive the message after it was sent because the messengers are all different types of animals and none speak the same language. The solution? Hand puppets.

Major Christopher Squawken, Turkey Vulture, head of the Animal Coalition of Secret Special Forces (ACSSF for short), called this emergency meeting. A short, fat, cross eyed Korean with a Napoleonic complex has been causing a ruckus. He needed to be dealt with. And with Otter Team 12 being the best of the best this is a mission only they could accomplish.

After hopping across the beach in the cute little way that otter's do, they made their way to hidden bunker disguised as a downed aircraft and descended into the depths of the island to Major Squawken. The Major informed the team that upon their arrival to Korea they were to meet up with the agent there, a tuxedo cat named Special Agent Fluffy Pants, who would give them the layout of the palace and inform them of a possible resistance, which would probably be nonexistent seeing most of his military couldn't stand the little prick. The Otter team had a hard time controlling their laughter watching the Major convey the message as he was laying on his back with hand puppets on his claws acting out the assignment.

Our heroes left the island under the cover of darkness aboard a cargo plane piloted by the Air Cav. Antarctica Wing, Penguin Division. After a very long flight from French Polynesia to the Island of Ch'o-do, off the coast of North Korea, the team swam to the main land to begin their journey to the city of Pyongyang the Capital of North Korea. It was the last known whereabouts of our vertically challenged dictator. The team had little trouble making their way to the capitol even passing through the various check points. Most people think that otters are just too cute to be up to up to no good. They did lose one of their team along the way when Private Squishy was clubbed by a poor fisherman as they swam up the Taedong River. The fisherman's family had an otter fricassee and, for the first time in years, all 14 family members went to bed with full bellies.

Once the rest of the team (now Otter Team 11) made it to the North Korean capital they met up with Special Agent Fluffy Pants, who again, through the art of hand puppets, told the team that the Palace was guarded by hundreds of military personnel and that they would not be a problem to get around because Fluffy Pants made contact with our villains own house cat, Gothel the Russian Blue. She would be helping them get past the guards and into the palace as long as Fluffy Pants took her and her litter, his litter, with them when the mission was complete.

At around 0315 our team, along with Special Agent Fluffy Pants, made their way to the heavily guarded palace to meet with Gothel who escorted the team through the kitchen doggie door, or I guess it would be called a kitty door since it was for a cat and into the palace. Once inside Gothel used her knowledge of the palace as well as her keen knowledge of language to inform the Otters that the little runt of a dictator was working late in the study trying to figure out how to take over the world. She told the otters in their own language that the man was having his usual cocktail of prune juice and Metamucil and he would be ready for the bathroom shortly. The team made their way to the study door, waiting for him to go to the loo so that they could enter the room and stage themselves for the attack. At 0400 the dictator exited the room to relieve himself, leaving the door open which made it easier for everyone to enter and hide throughout the room. Captain Squeak and Ensign Biskit hid themselves under the desk while Gothel took up her perch on the office chair. She knew when the fat man returned the first thing he will do was remove her and, doing so, he would be distracted long enough for the Captain and the Ensign to sever the Achilles tendon on both of his legs with their sharp little teeth, preventing him from escaping and allowing the rest of the team to attack. The little ruler returned to take up where he left off. They didn't know where he came from but their target returned carrying a little white mouse named Blinkie who kept saying narf. Why did he keep little white mice in the loo? No one wanted to know. When he noticed his cat sitting in his chair he placed the mouse on the desk and picked up the cat. The two otters attacked in unison, severing the tendons with ease and the fat man fell to the floor. Before he could call for help Fluffy Pants and Gothel produced giant hairballs to gag him with while the rest of the team started to beat the man with their little paws and rocks (they are otters, after all). After about 3 hours of continuous beating the Otters and Fluffy were getting tired. Gothel decided she had enough and finished her snack of a little white mouse. She slowly walked over to the bloody man, produced one long claw and slit his throat from ear to ear. After the otters noticed what she had done they all asked why she didn't do that in the first place. Narrowing her eyes, she said, with an air of obviousness, "No one asked".

The next morning palace security found the body of their leader, beaten and with his throat cut on the floor of the study. The strangest thing was the numerous little fist, paw, and teeth marks all over his body. But, once the people heard the news, there was a great celebration throughout the land.

Our little team of heroes, along with Gothel and Fluffy, made their way out of the country before they were discovered and made into a meal for the celebration. After returning home Special Agent Fluffy and Gothel got married. Their litter of kittens was born ushering in the next generation of ACSSF blue and white tuxedoed special agents. Once the kittens were old enough to fend for themselves Fluffy returned to work with Gothel at his side as the newest member of the coalition. The otter team, having completed the mission, went back into hiding in the numerous rivers where they live to wait for the next mission.

To this day, stories are taught to the school children of North Korea, about the courage and heroics of the anonymous hero's that saved their nation and its citizens. And every year there is a great celebration on the date of the death of the last heir to a murderous dictatorship.

Written By

Shawn LaHaye


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